Nativity

The nativity scene between Denny’s and CVS is still up in February. A strip of grass has forced the characters into a straight line behind a Cabbage Patch Doll strapped to an Igloo cooler.

Mary is directly behind the doll. She’s a plastic-mold figurine from a depleted nativity set. Behind her stands Joseph who is clothing store mannequin with a Sharpie’d beard and a mildewed toga wrapped around his body. A piece of twine trails from Joseph’s arm to a waterlogged stuffed animal—Donkey from Shrek. Three wisemen follow Donkey. They are from the same nativity set as Mary.

The wisemen are each carrying some kind of treasure box at their waists. The paint on the plastic has worn off, and I picture them as props in a music video for Justin Timberlake’s “Dick in a Box”.

The wisemen need better gifts.

What could I give them that they could give Cabbage Patch Jesus? What does Jesus need to know? What do the wisemen need to know?

I decide to give one wiseman a paper placemat advertising Denny’s Valentine’s Day special. I give the other wiseman my Narcan brochure, and for the last wiseman I leave a note with my phone number, hoping someone will call with information that I need to know.